barbedflower


Thoughts...

Living With All My Might


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Human
barbedflower

Ive been an angry person the past week. I felt that life was unfair and people were ungrateful. They were taking advantage of me and they weren't sensitive to my feelings.

I felt angry and envious that someone was going to get married and they would talk about getting a house or tips on weddings. How would that make me feel? Didnt they spare a thought about me? They obviously know I dont have any comments or any experience. It was a topic tht would exclude me. Didn't they realise that I would feel left out? Or so I thought and felt by myself.

I withdrew into myself for the past week feeling angry and depressed. Crying about my life and how unfair it all seemed. Why would someone like that able to get married and have someone to care about her? Whats wrong with me? I always tried to do the right thing. I always try to be kind and think about everyone else's feelings. Why doesn't anyone love me? Why didn't they care?

For the first time, positive thinking was not enough. I felt sad and cried. I felt inadequate and unloved. I felt all alone. My only consolation to myself was that it is okay to feel every bit of sadness and envy. I am only human. It would be weird if I didn't feel anything. My heart is still alive.

I felt better as time passed by. I knew it would be okay eventually. I would have dealt with all those negative feelings and put my thoughts and energies into something else. I am easily distracted and busy with a lot of things.

Today was not easy but I was focused at doing everything I needed to do. I spoke to a lot of people and was nice to everyone. I felt better and I felt like myself again. Life still goes on and its how I react to it that will make all the difference.

I will continue to feel sad everytime I am reminded about love and houses but I am only human. I will do my best to not let it affect me.

Its going to be okay.


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